I scolded him....

I just scolded CK. Tho I think the words I used and the way I do it wasn't very harsh, but I would classify it as scolding...feel my eyes wet while scolding him...我真没用!!

I have no idea what's wrong with me....I am not prepared to scold him, he has been like that for months, its nothing new to me...he has been refusing my therapy and refused to even try to talk for months....he has the right to choose....why is there a need for me to scold him????

Well, this is not the first time I scolded my patients. But those are patients whom ST felt that they hv good prognosis or at least I can still see that there are thing that I can do to help them improve...those r whom wanted to give up or whom are lazy....whom I have tried ways to motivate....

I scolded him n I changed the fenetrated trachy tube for him. I told him if you don't wanna to do therapy you say it out. He finally said "mai...". I stared at him n my heart almost melt. After not talking for so long, he finally said a word "mai.."

But why am I scolding CK??!!!! Both ST do not hv good prognosis on him...so wat if I scold him....I can't promise him anything....not even any slight improvement.....I am at total lost of wat I can do for him...why am I still trying to see him every day....??why is there a need of therapy for him...?? Can't we just leave him alone if this is wat he want!!!

Ya ya ya...I can cry, I can complain....which is good....cos while writing this I found the answer for all my WHY....Yes....I might not see hope that I can help him to swallow/eat again....but at least with the speaking valve I should continue to encourage him to talk...